My gift to myself.....the journey of a healthy lifestyle

HERE they are - my first official pair of running sneakers. I said I'd give myself a week before I bought some. Mainly because I have tried to "eat better" so many times before and never stuck to it.

I knew I deserved these tonight because I have been on my treadmill every.single.night. Also, I have NOT strayed from my diet. Yes, I did indulge in a SMALL ice cream last night (a dilly bar from Dairy Queen which is 210 calories exactly) - BUT I made sure I saved enough calories in my diet plan so that I could enjoy this). 

Tonight, Antoine wanted to go to Red Lobster (and has been begging to go for months). I was so nervous to "eat out" while dieting. I didn't think I could control myself. However, I did just the opposite!

I made sure to order a garden salad and the light balsamic vinaigrette dressing. I got a lemon water....and they serve rolls while you wait for your food. I knew I shouldn't eat one....but this was my downfall tonight. I shared one with Noey. THEN she wanted another one so I ate another half. So I had one little roll. By the time my fish came I actually wasn't that hungry! I ate a third of my Tilapia/Linguine and had to pack the rest to go home. I really thought I did pretty good actually. Antoine had battered/fried shrimp and I would be a liar if I said I didn't want to try some! He even said "just try it!"....but I resisted the temptation and packed the food.

Because I have completed a week of sticking to this - I know I can do it. 

After dinner we went to a couple of stores because we are scheduled for pictures tomorrow with {{Lindsey Robinson}} check out her site (LOVE!!!!) and wanted to get Antoine a new outfit. I ended up with a pair of sneakers.

By the time we got home, it was 8:30, and I was pooped. Noelani needed a bath....and as I type now, I'm ready for bed. I told Antoine "ugh I don't feel like this treadmill tonight". He said "just skip it then"......WELL, that was all I needed to hear and I got my butt in gear and tried out those new sneakers and completed a mile on there! 

Funny moment of the night - I got Noey some oranges as a side with her chicken tonight (instead of fries) - and she kept saying "YELLOW YELLOW!!!!!" when asking for them. Hey - she knew they were SOME type of color!!

I am hoping I can stick to this healthier lifestyle. I know that I might have bumps in the road and slip up a bit - but I need to do this. 

YAWN - ok I need to take my butt to bed because  little miss gymnast has class at 9am and I will barely have the energy for it!!!

Vacation...maybe it's the teeth!

I.NEED.A.VACATION! We haven't been on vacation since our honeymoon (i.think)!!! That means it has been just about 4 years. Life is really making me exhausted lately!!!! Maybe it's this teething my poor munchkin is going through right now.
I can't even believe that Noelani will be 2 in just about three months. CRAZY. Right now she is battling her upper left 2 yr old molar coming in. When she got her two front upper teeth we thought they were coming in sideways! We couldn't tell what was going on because they were SO blistered and swollen. It wasn't until her pediatric appointment that we were told her poor teeth had burst capillaries in her gums and caused them to blister/swell. She's going through the same exact thing with this molar - she is so good that she rarely complains. I notice her chewing her hands a lot & we've had some rough nights - but overall she hasn't complained a lot!

This is my baby at 6 months old - practicing to brush her teeth. I SWEAR she had half a mouth full of teeth by then! She learned at a very early age to brush her teeth & that it's important we do this every morning and night. I will just be SO glad when she has a full set of teeth and these 2 year molars are over with. I just feel so bad for her because I know it must feel so crappy with them coming in!

I too, am really tired from her not wanting to sleep and waking up at the butt crack of dawn every morning (5:30am!!!!). I just hope once these teeth are in, she goes back to sleeping a normal schedule. YAWN....speaking of sleep....I better get her to bed - and just maybe I will catch a few hours too.

Oh believe me....I AM grateful to be able to complain about these things. There are people I know who cannot complain of these things because they want for a child. I completely understand it.....and believe me, if I had to live with a child who only slept 5 hours a night I would. But......i.am.tired and human.

Allergies & Progress!!

Here is Noelani, in all of her glory at my cousins baby shower. CHOWING down on probably one of the 20 strawberries she ate. Up until about a month ago, she would break out into the worst rash ever if she ate berries. It was really weird!! I tried it every couple months to retest....and suddenly, she didn't get a rash. I tried it a couple of more times and we had success!!!!! Weird how kids grow out of allergies so sudden! Thank GOD it is the only known allergy she had. So far we have been very lucky not to run into any other unknown allergies. That's one thing about adoption that can be scary. We know very limited medical health information about her birth family. 

She was so happy eating these berries she kept running around and spinning in the hall!

I snapped this picture, and even though she has a cheesy grin, I just cannot believe how big my baby is getting! 

I also think we figured out what some of our sleep issues have been! Two nights ago I checked her mouth thinking MAYBE some of her mid night waking was a 2 yr molar. There was NOTHING there, although it felt like her gums were hard - but it's just impossible to see that far back in her mouth. WELL, last night I was on the treadmill and Antoine said "Jenn, why is the floor all wet over here?!". I then noticed her shirt was drenched in the front and she was chewing on a toy. I stuck my finger in her mouth and TADA she is getting her two yr molar on the top left. That's what all the wet floor was from - my poor baby drooling! I asked her if she wanted Tylenol and she said "YESSSSS"

We had a bedtime with no tears and I am happy to report she went to bed around 9pm and slept until 6am! WOO HOO!!!

Speaking of treadmills, I am happy to report I have used it every single night so far. I am sticking to my diet and very proud of myself. I hope to at least lose 10-15 lbs by Thanksgiving/Christmas. I think that's a reasonable goal for now. I am starting to learn when to stop eating when I am full and NOT to continue to eat just because it tastes good. Tonight, I made shrimp fajitas and after a little rice and half of the fajita I was so stuffed I couldn't possibly eat anymore if I wanted. THAT is a big accomplishment for me.

Oink Oink....The tale of a TOO full piggy!

Hello new piggy - bye bye little baby piggy
(We have to go to the bank this weekend and deposit her actual dollars!!)

Well on the left you see Noelani's new piggy bank! Her little guy on the right was almost busting at the seams. As I said before, I always try to do special things with Noey since I have to work. SO, today we went to Target. She loves shopping. When we pull up to the mall or stores she always yells "shopping!!!!".

I had been eyeing this polka dot piggy you see above for quite some time. I couldn't bring myself to spend nearly $20 on it, even though it matched her big girl room. We frequent Target quite often and I had seen it on clearance for $13.98....then $9 something....then $6 something. Well, I told myself - she really doesn't need it....and TODAY, it was $3.48. I couldn't pass that up. SO, I told Noey "when we get home we can fill this piggy with alllllll the money from your baby piggy". She smiled and got all excited. I thought she would get a kick out of it and she did.

She must have sat on that floor with me for at least 30 minutes putting all of those pennies in the new piggy. She had so much fun (amazing how us adults forget the joy in such small things). 

She kept picking up the little piggy and shaking him out making sure there wasn't anything left in there HAHA! Once she felt confident she got them all out....she had to give it one last look:

She was so into this that when Dada came home she ran and said "Dadaaaaaaaaaaaaaa" and ran right back to putting her money away. THAT is a rarity!

Side note:

Yesterday we went to my sisters house and my mom brought muffins. Noelani thought they were cupcakes and was so very excited when she saw them. She began clapping and jumping saying "yayyyy". I sat her in her little chair there and cut up her muffin and as SOON as she grabbed them, she shoveled it in her mouth. She was playing around and licked her hands really fast and screamed "MMMMMM BUTTCAKES" LOL! All of us cracked up and I pointed to the muffins and said "what are these?!"....She responded and said "BUTTcakes". That girl cracks me up!!!! 

My new FRENEMY

Well here it is:

No more excuses! 

Most of my issue with exercising has stemmed from my endometriosis. There are days I have a GREAT deal of pain and can barely function to get out of bed in the morning. BUT....I can't use that to give up anymore. This is my new best friend....errrr....enemy?....Give me a few weeks and I will decide that one. But, I have to do this for my baby girl...so that I am healthier for HER.

Speaking of my silly girl. Here she is in the bath tub tonight. She kept dipping her head into the bubbles. At one point she dipped her finger in the bubbles and said "Yummy?!?!" ....she proceeded to lick her finger and answer herself "YESSSS!" All I could do is laugh. She really is sooooo silly and makes me laugh constantly.

We are still having some sleep issues. This past week it has been more of her fear of falling asleep alone. I am not sure if that is normal for her age. She has never given us any problems going "nite nite" as she calls it. We have added a continuous night lite in her room in hopes that might help. She has always had a radio that plays music throughout the night. Our routine hasn't changed much - so I'm hoping this is just a phase she seems to be going through. I will NEVER be a mom who lets her "cry it out". It's not something I believe in - even when she was a baby I never believed in it....so all I can do for now is comfort her. Today, her nap consisted of my laying on the floor next to her bed, holding her hand until she fell asleep. If it gives her comfort knowing I'm there, I will do that for her. I want her to always know she can trust Mama!

Shopping with my little girl.....

I love my little girl. I swear she is the cutest little thing God ever invented. I love it that she LOVES to shop too :) Every Saturday we go shopping with Nana & sometimes Auntie joins us. We wake up, have breakfast and then we do all of our errands until it's melt down time. Usually it includes lunch at Target - not too fancy, but she thinks it's the best thing going.

She's really into it lately! Every time I ask her if she wants to go shopping, she yells and says "SHOPPING" and runs to the door. This may come back to haunt me as she gets older HAHAA!!

Not only does my little girl love to shop - she is a shoe-a-holic!!! She has to try to put on every single pair of shoes in the stores. "Shoes....Mommy....Shoes". Today we bought 2 new pairs of fall boots. While we were there, she spotted out a big Dora stuffed animal/pillow. With much excitement she yelled "DORAAAA". When I put her in the cart, she sat her down and said "Hi Dora!!" And then she proceeded to snuggle her as you see in the picture below. 

SERIOUSLY, how could I say no to that?!?!?!

One Year Ago!

One year ago today, we became a family for FOREVER. Hard to imagine that picture above with the judge was a year ago! It's amazing how fast time flies by when you become a mom. Sometimes I sit and wonder what did I do with all of my time I had before becoming a mom? I wouldn't change it for the world!

I remember being SO nervous for this day. I am not quite sure why - but I just was. I remember stressing over what Noey would wear. It was a semi cool summer day so I remember not being able to decide if she needed socks or tights (such funny things I remember!). We gave her a nice little bath and got her dressed and drove down to the courthouse. She didn't make a peep! We had once again a ton of paperwork to sign. Once it was time, we were brought into a courtroom. Our lawyer came with us and we were among, if I had to guess, 15 other families being finalized that day. Noey lasted maybe through the first 3 families, and then she was not having it. She started screaming and crying - I remember it was her nap time and that made me nervous going in there. She was sooooo sleepy. I brought her into the hall and gave her a bottle and she was almost asleep when they called our family.

Both my parents were there, along with my sister and her husband Larry, and Antoines Mom & his sister Ashley. We were asked a few questions by the judge, took pictures and then it was all over!!!!

We all went out as a family and went to Olive Garden. My mom made Noelani this blanket you see in the above photo, and my sister & Larry got her an outfit and a very special alphabet block. It was my intention that we would do this every single year and return to Olive Garden. Of COURSE, Noey was sick all week and today I woke up extremely sick. 

For her first birthday, I froze the top layer of her birthday cake. It was my intention we would all come back to the house to have the cake - this is of course a big day for her and should be treated as such!

Instead, since I was sick, we did the best we could! Here she is in her pj's after her shower. Dada ordered her some french fries (her ultimate FAV) and chicken fingers with bread sticks. If we order out, she never gets to order food - unless it's pizza. So, we figured we would get her favorite since Mama was sick and we couldn't go out.

I don't think she minded this at all! She was just as happy as if we went out. I think the important thing is that we still tried to do something that she loved - and we were together as a family.

She saw the cake when she went to bed last night since it was out to defrost. She really wanted some and I had told her she could have some today. I felt really bad that everyone wasn't over - but again, today is her special day so we still let her have cake :)

Some of the little fondant snowflakes fell off, and the number 1 was cracked, but it still had it's glitter and the colors were still exactly the way they were back in January. I was amazed! The frosting still seemed creamy and the cake still felt moist (I had to pass on trying it because I still don't feel well as I type this).

She definitely did NOT mind that the fondant snowflakes were laying around. She enjoyed eating as many of them as Dada would let her. She was sooooo excited saying "YUMMY YUMMY CAKEY". To her - this day was just as great as if we went out to dinner.

Here she is, in all of her glory enjoying her cake, on her princess tray with her Yo Gabba Gabba plate. I sat down in front of her when she was eating and I said "this is because today is a VERY special day for you"....She looked up at me and tilted her little head. I said "one year ago, you became Mama and Daddys baby FOREVER and nobody can ever take that away from us!!!" She just smiled and said "YESH".....

Oh my little baby girl, you have no idea yet how important this day was to your Mommy and Daddy. You are the best thing that has and will ever happen to us!!!! We love you SO much!

My TALL girl

Here's a picture of Noelani....she had JUST turned 20 months. She looks so much older than that. Sigh.

People always think she's around 3 years old. I feel a little sad about this because I feel like people expect much more out of her without realizing her age! 

At gymnastics, she's just as tall as the 3 year olds in her class. She's wearing a size 2T pants (a little long) and 3T shirts!!! She was just playing with my dads tape measure yesterday and I tried to measure her height and she's in the 35-36" vicinity!!!!! She's already wearing a size NINE in shoes. UNBELIEVABLE. She is the average size of a 3 year old and she's not even 2 yet. However, today I got the first 2 year old question = "WHY" LOL!

I don't honestly know where her height is coming from. Her birth-mom was 5'3" and birth-dad was 5'10". Neither of those heights are very tall, so I just cannot believe why she's so extremely tall! 

She's also a very smart cookie. She can count to 10 on her own. She can say all of her ABC's and recognize a few shapes. She thinks every color is yellow though, and every letter she sees is "B" hahaha! She has started singing songs randomly. I always catch her singing "twinkle twinkle little star" and the end of the "abc's". She sings all of the jingles on Blues Clues. Also, she loves the Fresh Beat Band (a group on Nick Jr.) - she yells during the opening credits all of the names of the singers. She also loves Yo Gabba Gabba still and Brobee has clearly become her favorite on the show.

No matter how smart or big she gets though, she will always be my baby.

I waited....

I waited a while to write this post. Today, I was very much so at my breaking point. Even though I was there....I was still grateful. I never mean to hurt or offend anyone when I blog. I just say what's on my mind and use it as a type of "therapy".
Noelani has been REALLY testing her boundaries with everything lately. She will tell us "stop it" and "no" quite often lately. That really hasn't bothered me as much as the lack of SLEEP. The "talking back" or testing us is just her age. However, this child doesn't want to sleep more than 9 hours at night. I don't care how dog tired she is - that's all I get out of her. When I read online, I see that she should be sleeping about 15 hours a day. Therefore, I'd assume she would take a long nap. Lately, she hasn't taken a longer nap than 1 hour for me - and that's after fighting it all day long. I'm.Tired. She gets up at 5:30am - even on the weekends.
Nonetheless, I.am.grateful.
I think this blog made people think I am not: http://littlecrazyfamily.blogspot.com/2011/09/iwantmore.html
That is the furthest from the truth. Even in moments where I am completely and ever so beyond exhausted, I am grateful. I never could have pictured being a mother. For 3 or more long.hard.trying. years I cried every single day that I would never be a mom. Even today, I pinch myself because I cannot believe that I was chosen to be a mom to the most beautiful little girl in the entire universe.
I can't help that I want more babies. I don't want to apologize for that, because it's how I feel in my heart. I never in my life will forget the pain and heartache it took getting to the point of being a mom. never.
To say that I can sympathize with others is an understatement. I remember spending every moment online looking up other peoples infertility stories. I remember reading some people saying "oh I had my son/daughter with no problems and now I am suffering secondary infertility"....meaning, they were struggling to have a 2nd child. I remember being so mad. What right did they have to want a 2 nd child? Here I was struggling to have my first (that I just "knew" I would never have) -and they weren't happy with the one baby God blessed them with. Believe me - I've.BEEN.there. And NOW - I get mad when I hear people say they want a 3rd. How silly is that? But I think in my head "hey you should be happy, you got to be a mommy twice and your first child has a sibling"....Here I am, with my one baby. I should be satisfied with what I have. But, like I said before, I think once you become a mom, you want more of it so bad.
So - I thought long and hard about this post "follow up", but I wanted it to come out right. I am grateful. And I thank God for my blessing every single moment of every single day.

Big girls - Baba's, Binkies & More!

So, recently a friend of mine blogged about her son who is stopping his use of the pacifier. (yikesssss - Hi Michelle!)...

I thought maybe tonight I would try it. It did not go so well. I walked out of Noelani's bedroom and she began crying. The second I turned around she was crying hysterical saying "handddd handdddd" and so she grabbed my hand to pull me into her room. I said "Did Mommy forget something?" - "Yesssssh". I said "what did I forget!?"....."BIPISSSSSS" (for some weird reason this is what she calls her pacifier. She walked me into the room and pointed to the can that holds them. Sigh. I'm a sucker. She knows it. My poor little girl is SO attached to this thing. When she had her surgery back in March and couldn't suck, she sat there on the floor SCREAMING in tears with binkies in her hands rubbing them on her face. HOW pitiful is that!? It was at that moment that I told her "Noey you can have it until you are 45 if you want sweetheart!!!!" It was a rough few days. I don't think her and I slept more than an hour and a half at a time without hysterics.

There's my binky baby in all her glory. That ugly little lamb at the top, she has to roll her fingers through his ears to fall asleep. I think I've washed him a zillion times and he still looks gross haha! My friend at work got her the hippo and she LOVES him. The little seahorse is a modern day glow worm and she has to listen to him to fall asleep. All in all, my gal is pretty strict with her routines!

Yesterday, I was at my moms house and found an old bottle of Noelanis. I thought it would be interesting to see what she would do with it. I filled it up and handed it to her, in which she replied "babies?!" I told her to go ahead and drink it and she tried to sip and said "help pwease!!" My poor baby is a big girl now - only 7 months ago the baba was her life. When I took the bottle away from her, I literally did it in one day. I just cold turkey stopped giving it to her. She was never a baby who went to bed with a bottle or napped with one, so I think it was fairly easy because of that. The binky however is a different story!

Ah well - as a co-worker of mine says "once you take away the baby things from them, you can't get it back - don't rush it". I think my friend's son must be ready to get rid of it! My other friends daughter told her when she was done with it at 2.5. I think after tonight, I know she's not ready to get rid of it yet. It's ok, she will get rid of it someday. Hey - she probably won't want to go to high school with it right?!....Ermmmm I hope so!!!

On a lighter note....she had her first gymnastics class this past Saturday. She l.o.v.e.d it! Auntie Abeeda (it's really Amanda, but somehow that is how she pronounces it) came with us. She ran around like crazy for the entire 45 minutes. She enjoyed every part of it, but was a little bit nervous on the balance beam. But I must say, she has the memory of an elephant and it amazes me sometimes! Yesterday we were at my moms and they had molding laying on the floor (they are in the process of remodeling the dining room), and she was walking on it just like a balance beam haha. She then proceeded to use my mothers wedge from the hospital to practice somersaults. Once she got tired of the wedge, she successfully completed her first somersault on the floor! Yay Noey!!!

Follow This....

One of my favorite bloggers posted this picture on her blog. I wanted to share it with everyone. Some of the things stated in here are what brought us to our daughter.

As a sidenote: We are now a family with TWO cars. Not just an SUV and a motorcycle - but, now an SUV and a car. Yay! Dada just got his FIRST new car. Not only is this exciting for Dada - BUT - now this means three things:

1. Mama can make him stop and run errands after work and he will actually have some place to bring things home in!!!

2. Dada can bring Noelani to her Dr. appointments and/or special outings the two of them want to do!

3. Dada can help in picking Noey up from daycare if she is sick.

I.WANT.MORE.......

babies. Yep. I wish it was that easy. I wish I could win the lottery. I wish I could just decide to "have another baby". I go back and forth alot on wanting another baby. In fact, we had another home study scheduled and I cancelled it. My grandma had a stroke And with my mothers hip replacement, I didn't think it was the right time to bring a new baby in (those of you who know us know it was only 3 mos from us meeting with our social worker til Noey came home).
Then I thought about it more and said maybe we should wait until Noey is in prek/kindergarden. Sigh. Now I just don't know anymore!!!
I want another baby....NOW. That is how I feel currently.
When I had my in vitro done 2 yrs ago...I vowed to never do it again. I formed cysts that had to be drained and it was the most excrutiating pain ever.
I just wish that it was as easy for me to have a baby as it is for others. All of my life i wanted 4 kids. Well....i just dont see that happening.
I dont want to sound ungrateful...I just wish Noey could someday have a brother or sister....without feeling like i'm being investigated by the FBI or needing to win the lottery. Although.....if we got to adopt anothe baby its wayyyyyyyy better than the lottery!!!
Please dont think "ohhhh i wish they could have a baby" or "i'd have a baby for you". I've heard it a ton and....i wouldnt change how Noey came into our lives for the WORLD!!!!

Calling my baby from work....

YEP, I'm one of those moms....I work TWO jobs. I work a day job - and I'm a Mama. I will say, I was very fortunate to not have to work both full time until my baby was a year old. Since I didn't return to work until she was 6 months old, she was never in daycare. Once I returned to work, Antoine was home with her 2 days a week, my sister watched her 1 day a week, and my mom watched her the other 2 days. I had to return to work, otherwise I basically owed them all the money for the benefits I used while I was out with Noelani. Once I returned, I had to work a month full time in order to not owe them this money.
After that month was completed, I told them either I would go part time, or I was leaving. They allowed me to work part time, and Antoine was then laid off. That meant, still no daycare was needed. Once he found another job, at the end of summer, Noey went to my friends house (she has an in home daycare) for about 1 hour 2-3 times a week where Antoine & my schedules conflicted. He worked second shift, so it still worked out perfect. Sometime around the fall, he got a permanent good paying day job and Noelani needed to go to daycare two full days a week. My sister watched her on the 3rd day and then I was off the other two days, including weekends.
This schedule continued until after her first birthday. It was at this point, we started thinking of adopting another baby. My job was also making some changes, and I was kind of told I may not be needed part time. At the same time, 2 people were fired and a job in my department was posted for full time. I jumped on it and decided, I couldn't risk losing the benefits my job offered. LITERALLY these benefits are the main thing that kept me there!!!!
Unfortunately, that meant, Noey had to start going to daycare 4 days a week, and my sisters house once a week. It sucked. The first few weeks, I called off here and there, and worked Saturdays. It was a rough adjustment I think for me mainly. It was comforting knowing the person who took care of her loved her,  but the guilt killed me inside.
I can now say, since we have not adopted another baby, I regret my decisions sometimes. I guess the regret comes on bad days when I'm exhausted. I only work 7.5 hr days, so between that and her napping 3 hours a day or so - she is FAR from one of those kids who are in daycare more than at home. But still - the guilt eats at me! She is NEVER away from home on the weekends - unless I am sick. I go STRAIGHT from work to daycare to get her. We spend every moment together once I'm out of work and I always make sure to do special things with her.
I do feel I am very grateful for what seems to have been an easy transition into being in daycare almost full time. I am also grateful for that first year where she spent a TON of time with me. A year ago, she was just beginning her first "stint" in daycare (for her hour a day) - it seems so funny now to think about how nervous I was then for an HOUR.
BUT - today, I know she is a very well adjusted toddler! Today, after being home with me for 4 days - I dropped her off at my sisters and she said "Mommy, bye bye, see you!"......When she does and says those things, it makes me feel a bit better that instead of her crying, she is used to our routine and not sad.

Today, I talked to my sister on the phone, and she told Noelani Mama was on the phone. Noey got on the phone and I said "Hi Noey". She said "Hiiiiiii MOMMY!!!" I asked her "are you being a good girl?"....she said "yeaaaaash".....I said "ok baby"....she replied "ok baby". LOL I said "I love you Noey" and she said "wuv you".

Not a single tear when she handed my sister the phone back. When I saw her a couple hours later, she ran up to me kicking her feet and smiling...."MOMMY!!!!!"

That's my beautiful, LOVING little girl!!!! I take every moment I can to tell her how much I love her. I NEVER leave her for the day without saying "I love you!!!" I hope that is something that makes each day easier for her. I hope she knows and someday understands that Mommy works so she can have everything I want to give her in this world! 

This Saturday - she will be starting gymnastic classes - hopefully that's another special thing we can do together to bond!

When I least expect it.....

My little smarty pants always amazes me. The things she picks up and says crack me up sometimes!
Just yesterday, she decided she had enough of me trying to get her to nap. As I was trying to get her to sleep (at my parents house on the couch) - she kept grabbing a blanket off of the back of the couch so I said "no no you cannot keep grabbing that" and moved her arm. As I said that she replied quietly from behind her binky "SHTOP.IT" (stop.it)  - Bad parenting moment: All I could do was laugh!
Today, I tried to once again get her to take a nap this morning and when I finally gave in to her laughs and giggles in her bed - I walked in and she said her FIRST complete sentence/question!....I was amazed. I asked her a good 3-4 times..."What did you say baby?!".....and she pointed at her nightlight and said:
"Do you see dat???"

This is a paw print from the TV show "Blues Clues"

Noelani is BIG on the tv show Blues Clues right now. I happen to really like it for her because they do a lot of sign language on it (which she has been using since she was about 9 months) and it is very educational in the aspect that you get "clues" to find out the answer to the question posed in the beginning of the show. Whenever there is a "clue" you will see the above image on t.v. When the host sees the "clue", he opens both of his hands and closes them really fast as he says "BLUES CLUES...BLUES CLUES". Noelani loves this show and whenever there's an ad for it on t.v. she does this motion I spoke about with her hands and screams "CUES CUES" aka Blues Clues.

Today, we were getting ready to go shopping and for YEARS I've had the below magnet. When we moved into our current place, we just so happened to have a metal door, so I placed this magnet on the door in case I have to write myself a "don't forget me note" (which I tend to write a lot of these days lol!).

As my sister and I were putting on our shoes, we hear Noelani screaming "CUES CUES CUES CUES". I stopped and saw her doing the open/shut hand motion with it as well. I looked around and thought maybe she figured the man on the dog treat bag looked like the host haha!! Then I noticed.....my baby thought she was seeing a "Blues Clues" paw print!!!!!!

She was so darn excited she had found a "Clue" so I had to play along. I told her to hurry up and get Dada so she could show him. She RAN like the wind into the living room and said "Dada Dada" screeching. When he came into the kitchen I said "Noey! What is Blues Clues trying to tell us? We are going bye bye....what do you think we need?"....(The keys were on the hook next to the door) - so I said...."Ohhhh we need our keys to go bye bye!!!!".....

I grabbed the keys for her and she just grinned ear to ear! The simple yet such exciting things that make her happy, make my day. I love the little things that make her smile xoxo

I wish I could record every memory!!!!

I always tend to have days where I go through old photos. Every time I look through these, I always say "awwww I remember when she used to do this". The above picture is Noey blowing raspberries. Oh my goodness she did this for WEEKS! Anywhere we would go, she would blow them and spit all over haha!! She started this around 6 months old. Thankfully this is one habit I can say she outgrew....

I wish I could capture EVERY single moment of her life. I don't ever want to forget a single second of it! 

I will always remember the FIRST night I got to be her Mama.

I will always remember the next morning waking up and thinking "Someone please pinch me because GOD this cannot be real!"

I will always remember her first smile I got to see.

I will always remember her first night at home and how I woke up 100 times thinking I wouldn't hear her if she was crying!

I will never forget how proud I was of my baby when she figured out how to roll over (although it was scary because she rolled over for the first time COMPLETELY wrapped in her swaddle in her crib).

I will never forget how nervous I was that I would miss her learning how to crawl - but I didn't...and I remember how proud I was.

I'll never forget her eating her first baby cereal...and how messy she was - and how mad she was when it was gone hahahha!

I won't forget the first time she gave me kisses back....or a squeeze.

I won't forget her silly "mmmm mmmm mmmm" sounds she made with every.single.bite. of food.

I won't forget her first steps......

Her first words.....

Her first time she said "Mommy"...

I will never forget the night she slept with me and in the middle of the night I felt her little baby arm reach over and heard her say "mmmmwaaaaaah" and give me a kiss and roll right back over to fall back asleep.

MOST of all...I will never ever for as long as I live, forget the moment my beautiful little girl was placed in my arms. I will never forget the feeling I got when I held her for the first time and knew this is who I was waiting for all along. God created her just for us. 

I wish I had a way to capture all of these moments EXACTLY when they happen....but I know they will always be in my heart.