Calling my baby from work....

YEP, I'm one of those moms....I work TWO jobs. I work a day job - and I'm a Mama. I will say, I was very fortunate to not have to work both full time until my baby was a year old. Since I didn't return to work until she was 6 months old, she was never in daycare. Once I returned to work, Antoine was home with her 2 days a week, my sister watched her 1 day a week, and my mom watched her the other 2 days. I had to return to work, otherwise I basically owed them all the money for the benefits I used while I was out with Noelani. Once I returned, I had to work a month full time in order to not owe them this money.
After that month was completed, I told them either I would go part time, or I was leaving. They allowed me to work part time, and Antoine was then laid off. That meant, still no daycare was needed. Once he found another job, at the end of summer, Noey went to my friends house (she has an in home daycare) for about 1 hour 2-3 times a week where Antoine & my schedules conflicted. He worked second shift, so it still worked out perfect. Sometime around the fall, he got a permanent good paying day job and Noelani needed to go to daycare two full days a week. My sister watched her on the 3rd day and then I was off the other two days, including weekends.
This schedule continued until after her first birthday. It was at this point, we started thinking of adopting another baby. My job was also making some changes, and I was kind of told I may not be needed part time. At the same time, 2 people were fired and a job in my department was posted for full time. I jumped on it and decided, I couldn't risk losing the benefits my job offered. LITERALLY these benefits are the main thing that kept me there!!!!
Unfortunately, that meant, Noey had to start going to daycare 4 days a week, and my sisters house once a week. It sucked. The first few weeks, I called off here and there, and worked Saturdays. It was a rough adjustment I think for me mainly. It was comforting knowing the person who took care of her loved her,  but the guilt killed me inside.
I can now say, since we have not adopted another baby, I regret my decisions sometimes. I guess the regret comes on bad days when I'm exhausted. I only work 7.5 hr days, so between that and her napping 3 hours a day or so - she is FAR from one of those kids who are in daycare more than at home. But still - the guilt eats at me! She is NEVER away from home on the weekends - unless I am sick. I go STRAIGHT from work to daycare to get her. We spend every moment together once I'm out of work and I always make sure to do special things with her.
I do feel I am very grateful for what seems to have been an easy transition into being in daycare almost full time. I am also grateful for that first year where she spent a TON of time with me. A year ago, she was just beginning her first "stint" in daycare (for her hour a day) - it seems so funny now to think about how nervous I was then for an HOUR.
BUT - today, I know she is a very well adjusted toddler! Today, after being home with me for 4 days - I dropped her off at my sisters and she said "Mommy, bye bye, see you!"......When she does and says those things, it makes me feel a bit better that instead of her crying, she is used to our routine and not sad.

Today, I talked to my sister on the phone, and she told Noelani Mama was on the phone. Noey got on the phone and I said "Hi Noey". She said "Hiiiiiii MOMMY!!!" I asked her "are you being a good girl?"....she said "yeaaaaash".....I said "ok baby"....she replied "ok baby". LOL I said "I love you Noey" and she said "wuv you".

Not a single tear when she handed my sister the phone back. When I saw her a couple hours later, she ran up to me kicking her feet and smiling...."MOMMY!!!!!"

That's my beautiful, LOVING little girl!!!! I take every moment I can to tell her how much I love her. I NEVER leave her for the day without saying "I love you!!!" I hope that is something that makes each day easier for her. I hope she knows and someday understands that Mommy works so she can have everything I want to give her in this world! 

This Saturday - she will be starting gymnastic classes - hopefully that's another special thing we can do together to bond!