I decided on the above picture because I feel that it speaks a million words. 30 years ago, you would rarely, if ever, see that beautiful baby girl in the middle. You wouldn't see a black and white family smiling, sharing in the same joy at the same time. YES, I am a black mother...I am a woman who will fight for my daughter as much as the next woman would fight for any of her daughters. I am a transracial mother who is fighting for her daughter to be accepted in every step of this world she may take. I will NOT pretend that I am going to be able to teach her everything a mother of her same race could, but I will try my best - and her Dada will help her every step of the way!! Even if my daughter has alot of cards stacked up against her, I will teach her to be accepting of each and every single person she meets.
I remember growing up and watching the Oprah show. She used to have shows more like what you would see today as a "Maury Povich" type show. Feuding families that hated one another for whatever reason. The shows that really struck a cord in me however, were the parents who had disowned their own children for dating someone of another race. Particularly, I would see shows of white young ladies dating black men. I think maybe this stood out because those were of course the two prominent races that I was exposed to as a child.
I remember watching these shows and thinking "How in the WORLD could a mother disown her child?!!?" It just didn't make sense to me. Now, I look back and realize - I had that mentality because of my parents. They made a conscious decision to raise us in the city and send us to city schools in order to be exposed to others of ALL races. This was not a popular decision that was always supported by their families - but it was the right decision. I will never be more grateful for a life changing decision than my parents exposing me to the beautiful world of seeing everyone as different, yet special in their own right.
You see, I still all too often hear and see people saying "racist" comments that they don't realize - or don't think is wrong. Me writing this tonight was set off by some comments someone on my "friends" list on facebook said. I cannot tolerate when people see an article and automatically "blame" a race because a "white person" or a "hispanic person" or a "black person" commited some horrible crime. We have crazies in EVERY race - even if a person was purple. People - we must move past this dumb nonsense. The same people who post these negative remarks, are the same people who make this world impossible to move forward. Things have changed a bit in the 10 years Antoine & I have been together - but not completely. I wish everyone could have the mentality of a child when it comes to viewing different races. I will never forget when Ashley (Antoines sister) introduced me to her classmates as her sister (she was 5 at the time and in kindergarden-she is 20 years younger than myself). Her classmates said "Ashley, how is she your sister if she is white and you are black?!".....she responded "uhmmmm I don't know - she's just my sister". Her classmates shrugged their shoulders and continued to play. Yes, they noticed the difference - but they didn't judge....they didn't point out any reasons why I SHOULDNT be Ashleys sister....just that they didn't understand. I had a child ask me how I could be Noeys mom if I was white and she was black. A simple answer of "every family is made different" satisifed that child.
As adults, we are too wrapped up in what people think of us, what we have been taught, what society will think of us. If you want to love someone of another race - why judge someone before you get a chance to know them? Why write a race off because of something stupid someone has done that you read about? Why not just give them a chance......realize that at the end of the day, we all bleed the same color.
No comments:
Post a Comment