MY princess

Making a princess crown

I love my little princess. Today I took her to a "Prince & Princess" party with my sister, my friend Melissa & her two kids Skylar & Nate. There was a TON of cute little things for the kids to do! Noelani of course dressed as her favorite princess - Tiana. She has loved this movie since she was about 6 months old.

Here she is meeting the frog prince

All of the people dressed up there were awesome with the kids!! This guy said "Awe, aren't you the frog princess??? Can we take a picture together???" She was loving his frog puppet!

Her favorite thing was the balloon guy and the bounce house. She wasn't very patient for either one, but I guess I can't expect much patience from an excited 19 month old!!!! In fact, she picked out a flower to be made by the balloon artist. She saw other kids with the balloons and he asked what she wanted and she said "FWOWER"....too bad she bit the center of the balloon about 20 minutes later and popped it!

She was a little bit nervous of Cinderella and Belle - but her auntie (my sister Amanda) was awesome in showing her that they were very nice and she finally gave Cinderella a hug xoxo

I thought this was such an awesome event for the kids and everything was free! The only thing I saw a price tag on was dress up pictures. They were charging $5 for a 5x7 and would dress you up in a princess outfit. I'm not really sure if they made alot on that because all of the little girls were walking around in their princess outfits anyway!

Even the bounce house was free!!

I sometimes complain about being one of the last people in my group of friends to have kids. However, in times like this it's great lol! My friend and her kids that came are quite a bit older, and are wonderful with Noelani! My friends daughter Skylar helped Noey in the bouncehouse the whole time and made sure she didn't get trampled.

Doesn't every princess need pizza?

We finished off the Princess Party with some pizza. I can't believe how big my baby girl is getting - check her out using her fork like a big girl!!! She's also rocking her beautiful crown she made. All in all she was extremely well behaved and I think she had an AWESOME time!

The princess passed out

As we drove away from the mall, I saw her grab her "baby" and snuggle her on her shoulder and pass out. I'd say that means she had a fun afternoon - then we were off to see Nana at rehab.

I can't WAIT to take her to Disney for her 3rd birthday!!!!



Transfer Day!

Well, I tried to upload a video of Noelani doing her puzzle lastnight, but Blogger was taking FOREVER and it never worked. SO, I wasn't able to do that update. This post is a bit jumbled, sorry in advance!
Here is a picture of Noey in her car. This car is something Dada got for her - it lights up, plays music, and even has an ipod attachement. For weeks she loved this car. Antoine can remote control it for her, and when she gets older, there's a foot pedal for her to drive it. Suddenly, she has become terrified of it!! It is the weirdest thing. She never got hurt in it, nor did it ever "bump" into her or anything. Lately, when we are outside, if a car drives by, she is terrified and acts like it's going to jump the curb and run her over. Must just be a weird phase she's going through!!! She won't go near this car anymore! I've tried to show her the buttons and get her excited over the music - but it's not working. Ah well, maybe next summer she will love it again!



TODAY is the day that my mom goes to rehab!!! Amazing to think that just 3 days ago she had a 5 hour procedure done!

 I don't know if I'm just feeling sentimental or what because of her having this surgery done, but lastnight I couldn't sleep, thinking about all of the people in my life who never got to meet Noey or be a part of her life - it makes me very sad.
My dads friend Bob, he was a wonderful man. In fact, he used to always  tell me the story of when he and his wife adopted their daughter Alyssa. EVERY.SINGLE.TIME he told me the story he would cry. When I was going through infertility treatments, he used to tell me "Jenn you should just adopt, it was the greatest experience of my life" - then he would proceed to tell me about it and cry. Oh, how I wish he would have been here to see US experience it.
My dad also had another friend Loreen, and she actually died a few weeks before Noey came home. Before she died, she saw the website Antoine & I created for our adoption profile. She held my hand and told me - in the hospital, "Jenn, you and Antoine have WONDERFUL things ahead of you and I just know you are going to get a baby and you are a great friend and I just wanted to let you know you will be a wonderful mom". She knew she was dying. I wanted SO badly for her to be a part of it. In fact, the night of her memorial service, we left following it and drove to NYC to pick up our daughter - so maybe in a weird way she was part of it.
My mothers friend Kathy - whom I grew up calling Aunt Kathy, never got to meet her. She was the first person who took my sister and I to the "new" mall when it was built. SHE is the person who gave me my love for animals. SHE is the person who taught me how evil the circus is to animals - and the reason why Noelani won't go to one until she is old enough to decide for herself. I wish so badly she could have met Noelani as well. My aunt was a social worker, and I'm sure she would have helped us through the adoption process.
Lastly, my Aunt Diane. That was my Godmother. I miss her - SO.MUCH. She died unexpectedly. Never in a million years would I think that would happen to her. Of course, I didn't expect ANY of the above people to pass away. But, it is a strange feeling to know your Godmother has passed away. Her daughter and I had become very close the year prior to it happening, and I am thankful that our relationship bloomed to be able to help her through losing her mom. However, people change and grow apart - and my  cousin and I don't really speak anymore. THAT is another person I am sad that Noelani doesn't know. I am very sorry that my cousin and I don't speak and I wish that was different.
I guess I am thinking of all of these people even more the past few days, because I am ever so grateful that this dr helped my mom, and she has a long recovery ahead of her - but it is totally worth it because she gets to be even healthier in the end and continue to be an active part of Noelani's life.
I am ever so GRATEFUL for that.

Our first TWO year molar - five months early!!

This is a picture of my poor little pumpkin at 4 months old! You see all of that wetness around her neck? DROOL!!!! BUT, even worse, can you see the discoloration around her mouth? Her poor mouth looked like that for MONTHS. I felt like the worlds worst mom - but the pediatrician kept assuring us it was normal for her to lose pigmentation with how bad she was teething. She got her first tooth shortly after this picture was taken and they didn't stop coming in until her first birthday! By the time she was one, she had EVERY.SINGLE.TOOTH minus her 2 year molars!!!!

Tonight, she was down right cranky!!! She just wasn't herself, and her little cheeks looked rosey to me. I took her temp and it was completely normal! But, for the past few days she was playing with her ears. She always plays with them when she is sleepy, but it's been pretty bad yesterday and today. Something told me to stick my finger in her mouth, and low and behold....her bottom left 2 year molar was poking through - barely - but it's there! No wonder why the poor kiddo has been walking herself into her bed the past couple of nights, WANTING to go to sleep!

I just had to snap this one tonight. I know she may not feel well, but she was throwing the biggest temper tantrum because I told her we could color Nana a picture AFTER she took a bath and she wanted to do it N.O.W! This included some feet stomping and chucking her cup across the room. Well, she wasn't very happy when she had to sit in time out:

Sorry baby girl, I know your poor teeth hurt, but it's not okay to throw stuff - especially because you can hurt your little baby friends at "school" if you were to throw a tantrum there and throw a toy!! xoxo



Tell them how you REALLY feel.....

My mom just had her 2nd hip replacement. In fact, I'm sitting in the hospital right now as I type this. We are waiting to see her after she gets out of recovery, which won't be for at least another 2 hours.
My mom is my best friend in life. She has always been my #1 cheerleader for EVERYTHING and I wouldn't know what to do without her. Before she went into surgery she made my sister and I promise to not EVER forget we are best friends and please promise her to NEVER stop talking to one another no matter what fight we have.

Myself, Mom & Sister at my baby shower

We.never.will. She doesn't need to tell us that - but I know how terrifying anesthesia is. I hope that I can help her as much this time as I did last time she had this done! Now that I have a toddler, it's going to be a bit harder to be at the hospital and nursing facility as often, but I know how strong she is and she is going to be back to 100% in no time!!!!
I am SO glad she decided to do this. For Noelani's 3rd birthday we want to do something VERY special - and it will require her to do alot of walking around amusement parks - so I am VERY glad to be able to look forward to this with her!
Don't ever underestimate your friendships you should have with your family! If there is a problem you are having as a family, try your best to work it out. You don't ever want to think someday "what if I would have just apologized this one last time or told this person how much I loved them?". Don't ever let stupid little spats and disagreements make you live with regrets.
ALWAYS tell people you love how you feel. There is not a single day that goes by that when I drop Noelani off at daycare that I don't say "I.LOVE.YOU"....You never know if you will get a chance to say it again.

Amusement Park Fun

Yesterday, we took Noelani to her first Amusement Park. She had a BLAST!! I wasn't sure how she would do, because at Easter time she went on a carousel and was totally scared by it. Yesterday, this is the same ride she chose to go on first - and she was all smiles saying "weeeeeee" the whole time.

We went as a family, along with Antoines Aunt & Cousin and his Mother & sister. Noelani's aunt is 10 yrs old and her cousin is 14. Noey thought she was such a big girl and hung out with them all day. Of course, the girls had a ball with "baby" Noey and taking care of her all day.

In the above video, she is in the cart with the girl in the orange shirt (Ashley) - as you can see, she didn't have a single tear! She's a daredevil!!!!

The only time Noey cried is when she tried going on a ride by herself. She was ok, but then she spotted me and started crying. After that, we didn't attempt putting her on anything else by herself. After going on all of the rides, we hit up the waterpark there. Of course Noey had a ball!!! Any time this child is by some water, she is in heaven!! All in all, it was an awesome day. We had alot of fun, and were all very sleepy by the time we got home. Noey went to bed at 7:30 - but of course got up this morning, no later than 6am - yeah this little girl does NOT sleep in!!.....YAWN.....hopefully I can get a nap in today!

Before we went, I prepared myself and went with my mom and sister for a mani/pedi!!! I think I need another one now haha!!! My mom is having hip replacement surgery on Tuesday so she wanted to have one done before then......it was a nice time with my mom and sister - I'm a VERY lucky girl to have such a close relationship with them both!!! <3

Love/Hate relationship

I've said before, Noelani and Jazmin have a love/hate relationship! My guess is, if they both could chill out a little  bit, they would be best friends.

Yesterday, Jazmin had to go to the vet because she was itching her neck open (for the 2nd time in 2 months). She apparently is a delicate flower and has allergies - only I would have a dog with allergies - c'mon!!

When we were there, Noey thought it was the most hysterical moment when they were clipping Jazmins nails. EVERY single clip made her laugh into hysterics. I don't know what was soooo funny to her, but it sure made us laugh!!

Alot of the times, I catch Noelani telling Jazmin "Sit Down" in the back seat of the truck. (I guess I must tell Jazmin that too much LOL!) Jazmin typically responds by growling or running away with the hair down the middle of her back standing straight up! The two of them battle over who gets to sit with me like siblings. If Jazmin is sitting in my lap, Noey will push her and say "GO". If Noey is in my lap, Jazmin will scoot her way next to me.

Tonight - the cutest thing happened. Noelani is really into giving "high fives" - she will say to any stranger she meets "high pives high pives" pives = fives. If they don't respond to that she will say "pound" (meaning she wants to pound fists - guess who taught her that one - not mama!!). So tonight she ran up to Dada requesting a high pive....then to myself....then she runs after Jazmin yelling "high pives high pives" with her hand out. Poor baby doesn't understand - but it was super cute watching her run after her little enemy asking for a high five.

Tomorrow we will be going to Noelani's FIRST amusement park.....this should be interesting!!

How can we change if all we do is blame each other??

I decided on the above picture because I feel that it speaks a million words. 30 years ago, you would rarely, if ever, see that beautiful baby girl in the middle. You wouldn't see a black and white family smiling, sharing in the same joy at the same time. YES, I am a black mother...I am a woman who will fight for my daughter as much as the next woman would fight for any of her daughters. I am a transracial mother who is fighting for her daughter to be accepted in every step of this world she may take. I will NOT pretend that I am going to be able to teach her everything a mother of her same race could, but I will try my best - and her Dada will help her every step of the way!! Even if my daughter has alot of cards stacked up against her, I will teach her to be accepting of each and every single person she meets.

I remember growing up and watching the Oprah show. She used to have shows more like what you would see today as a "Maury Povich" type show. Feuding families that hated one another for whatever reason. The shows that really struck a cord in me however, were the parents who had disowned their own children for dating someone of another race. Particularly, I would see shows of white young ladies dating black men. I think maybe this stood out because those were of course the two prominent races that I was exposed to as a child.

I remember watching these shows and thinking "How in the WORLD could a mother disown her child?!!?" It just didn't make sense to me. Now, I look back and realize - I had that mentality because of my parents. They  made a conscious decision to raise us in the city and send us to city schools in order to be exposed to others of ALL races. This was not a popular decision that was always supported by their families - but it was the right decision. I will never be more grateful for a life changing decision than my parents exposing me to the beautiful world of seeing everyone as different, yet special in their own right.



You see, I still all too often hear and see people saying "racist" comments that they don't realize - or don't think is wrong. Me writing this tonight was set off by some comments someone on my "friends" list on facebook said. I cannot tolerate when people see an article and automatically "blame" a race because a "white person" or a "hispanic person" or a "black person" commited some horrible crime. We have crazies in EVERY race - even if a person was purple.
People - we must move past this dumb nonsense. The same people who post these negative remarks, are the same people who make this world impossible to move forward. Things have changed a bit in the 10 years Antoine & I have been together - but not completely. I wish everyone could have the mentality of a child when it comes to viewing different races. I will never forget when Ashley (Antoines sister) introduced me to her classmates as her sister (she was 5 at the time and in kindergarden-she is 20 years younger than myself). Her classmates said "Ashley, how is she your sister if she is white and you are black?!".....she responded "uhmmmm I don't know - she's just my sister". Her classmates shrugged their shoulders and continued to play. Yes, they noticed the difference - but they didn't judge....they didn't point out any reasons why I SHOULDNT be Ashleys sister....just that they didn't understand. I had a child ask me how I could be Noeys mom if I was white and she was black. A simple answer of "every family is made different" satisifed that child.
As adults, we are too wrapped up in what people think of us, what we have been taught, what society will think of us. If you want to love someone of another race - why judge someone before you get a chance to know them? Why write a race off because of something stupid someone has done that you read about? Why not just give them a chance......realize that at the end of the day, we all bleed the same color.